It is what it is…

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

It is what it is.

That would be my opening statement for my autobiography. Not your usual opening but it’s an important saying for me.

So many times I’ve faced situations in my life that I’ve had no idea how to deal with but then I’ve realised, some things are way out of my hands and I can’t fix them straightaway or at all.

Growing up that feeling of being out of control, being out of my comfort zone or just not having an action plan would make me anxious. I would spend days being upset about it, asking God ‘why me’, ‘why am I always struggling’. It was always one thing after another, no break, no time to breath or float.

What you don’t realise, is that when you go through tough situations that you can’t change, that weren’t caused by you, you start to see things differently. You become resilient and nothing fazes you. May that be you health, education or relationships. Nothing moves you.

You begin to just go along, slowly, drifting and not letting anything affect you…

You learn that the only person you can improve is yourself. You realise it’s you. If you don’t let it affect you and you don’t let the situation move you then you won’t let anything or ANYONE affect you. You will automatically be calm, resilient and confident.

Now this I tell you, will ABSOLUTELY scare those who are trying to break you, who are trying to get under your skin. It’s a skill. Our mind is an amazing place so we should use it to our advantage if we are able to.

We can’t always change the situation but we can change ourselves. I have long way to go yet and by no means am I always calm in all situations but I know that sometimes…

It is what it is.

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Do I enjoy my job in the NHS?

Do you enjoy your job?

This is a tough one. I really do like my job. I spent 8 years at university and I’m forever studying, doing exams to reach my next career goal so I’ve got to love what I do right?

Being a doctor isn’t everyones cup of tea especially in the UK. The long days, night shifts, we have no breaks, we neglect our families, we put off having children, we end up marrying late and most of all, we neglect ourselves.

It’s so easy to make medicine your whole life as a doctor and you have to work hard to make sure you have a good work-life balance. There’s also this idea that doctors are selfless, hardworking humans who would do anything to help others. That is right. We are selfless, humans who care for our patients but I don’t think we are appreciated for how much we do. Especially in the NHS.

And I know many people feel that doctors are always complaining. ‘You guys get paid enough, why do you want more’, ‘you guys are lazy’ etc etc – I could go on…

There are lives in our hands. Literally. In my 12-13 hour shift at work I can see someone die and then see the birth of a baby. I can prescribe someone their end of life medication and and then prescribe a newborns first ever vitamin K injection. You will find me giving my condolences to a family who have lost a loved one and then congratulating a young couple on the birth of their twins. Sometimes this is all done in the same hour.

So many emotions, so many feelings and so many changes. It’s not healthy for anyone so imagine seeing all this in a 12 hour shift and then not being able to make a suitable living out of it? Imagine working all those hours and working through all those feeling and then not being able to be present with the ones you love at home. It’s hard.

So yes, I like my job, I like using my skills, I love to learn new things but do I enjoy it like I used to? No. I don’t. The stress, the tiredness and the lack of support in the NHS makes it difficult. Something needs to be done and that is why you need to support your junior doctors.

It’s hard to enjoy what you do in a broken system and that my friends is what the NHS is at the moment. Broken.

Do you believe in Fate/Destiny

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

Fate/Destiny. Weird isn’t it. Sometimes things happen at a time in your life where you just know that it was meant to be. It’s happened to me. It’s happened to people I know.

For instance, my husband and I went to the same university, we knew the same people. I’d even heard about him. When I started medical school, he left and I NEVER met or saw him at university. Not once.

We were 5 years apart at medical school but still, out of nowhere we found each other. Nobody would have EVER and I mean EVER thought that we would end up marrying each other, let alone be friends.

It always makes me think that we were walking, talking, living in the same place, perhaps he was even working in the same hospital whilst I was training. Did we walk past each other? We must have driven past each other at some point? I recall hearing a friend speak about him and I asked ‘who’s he’ and then replying ‘cool’ not knowing that I was talking about my future husband.

Destiny? I think so! Meant to be? Yes. What is meant to be will be. We just have to go along with the ride and stay happy.

There’s many other instances in my life where I have been astounded by how things have happened. A lot of the time it’s not been easy but each time I’ve come out the other end learning and knowing that if it wasn’t for this hardship then I wouldn’t have what I have now.

So, YES. I believe in fate & destiny! I believe some things are written and meant to be! ❤️